Happy Wednesday! I cannot believe it has already been 3 months of writing and sharing This Season’s Gold. So many of you have been so kind and generous in connecting with me through this platform, and I am so grateful to each and every one of you. Truly! When I recall the time I was in a dark and sad place in my life after losing my daughter, I didn’t want to care about looking or feeling good ever again. I believe I actually said those very words to my husband at some point. I would go to the mirror and shake my head disappointed at what I saw, and yet so unmoved to try to look or feel better. I wanted winter to last all year long. I wasn’t myself. It wasn’t until I was able to take a trip to Hawaii that my son’s smile and the warmth of the Pacific sun (while NYC was in the midst of a brutal winter) brought me and my family back to life. I knew that I had so much in my life that I needed to fight for and celebrate.
Starting this journey was not as planned as it seems. I’ve always wanted to have a platform for fashion and inspiration, but just never quite got to it. One day while in my car, after contemplating what name I wanted to create for the site, I started to convince myself that I couldn’t do it. I let fear in. I was listening to music with my phone plugged into the radio. I remember looking up and asking my daughter to guide me in deciding if starting This Season’s Gold was the right thing to do. I was at a red light and then my phone fell; the music on the track changed and the song Taking Chance’s (Celine Dion!) started to play. I’ll never know what to make of that moment other than what happened next. I sobbed and called my husband, went home and started to write. I never looked back in fear again.
Thank you again for being amazing readers and supporters, and most importantly caring human beings. I could not do this without you. And if you ever find yourself in a place of darkness, remember to look up and do not let fear in. Allow yourself to celebrate you.
Thank you so much for reading!
xoxo, Jessica
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I love your page. You have a story that so many women can relate to and a strength that makes you even more gorgeous. Your amazing and your angel is looking down so proud of her mama with everything you do! <3
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Thank you so much Melissa! I am sincerely touched by your kind words. xoxo, Jessica
You have such a great blog!
xo
Daxia
http://daxiasstylediary.com
Author
Thank you so much Daxia! I’ll be sure to visit yours too! Thank you for sharing. xoxo, Jessica
God bless you sweetie! Your words and posts bring me to tears! I too have suffered the traumatic and heartbreaking loss of our beautiful baby girl “Elleann Lousie” and I know those dark moments all to well. But when I look at our four amazing and adorable boys we have been blessed with. I know that Elleann wouldn’t want me to continue down the dark road. And she would want me to embrace ever second I have with our four boys and her brothers! I’m trying with all of my heart to save ever penny I can so I can fulfill my dream of being able to take pictures for the “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Foundation”! But as a stay at home mom and my very supportive and loving husbands very tight income. I’m struggling so bad to be able to afford the camera I would need to be able to fulfill my dream of blessing other families with beautiful pictures of their angel babies! I know that fulfilling my dream will also help me in my healing process as well. And I truly hope to one day to be able to fulfill my dream and bless other families with the most precious gift of pictures of their beautiful angel babies!
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Holly,
Your words are so touching! I am so sorry for your loss. I appreciate you visiting the site and sharing your story. I know that “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” was not available to me, but is so important to so many women, and so important for the families to have that special memory. I wish you the best in getting the resources you need to get that camera! I really do! xoxo, Jessica
Your tenacity is extremely admirable! I can’t believe it’s been 3 months already – keep up the good work. With each blog, every word you share with the world on here, you’re keeping her memory alive. May she beam in heaven with pride for her mama. <3 always. ~kookie
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Kookie, Thank you so much for always being such a great supporter of what I do. I can’t believe that much time has passed either. I have tears from just reading your comment. Thank you for the love! xoxo, Jessica